Read Staked by J.F. Lewis Online


UNREPENTANT. UNIMPRESSED. AND TOTALLY UNDEAD.Eric's got issues. He has short-term and long-term memory problems; he can't remember who he ate for dinner yesterday, much less how he became a vampire in the first place. His best friend, Roger, is souring on the strip club he and Eric own together, and his girlfriend, Tabitha, keeps pressuring him to turn her so she can joinUNREPENTANT. UNIMPRESSED. AND TOTALLY UNDEAD.Eric's got issues. He has short-term and long-term memory problems; he can't remember who he ate for dinner yesterday, much less how he became a vampire in the first place. His best friend, Roger, is souring on the strip club he and Eric own together, and his girlfriend, Tabitha, keeps pressuring him to turn her so she can join him in undeath. It's almost enough to put a Vlad off his appetite. Almost.Eric tries to solve one problem, only to create another: he turns Tabitha into a vampire, but finds that once he does, his desire for her fades - and her younger sister, Rachel, sure is cute. When he kills a werewolf in self-defense, things really get out of hand. Now a pack of born-again lycanthropes is out for holy retribution, while Tabitha and Rachel have their own agendas--which may or may not include helping Eric stay in one piece. All Eric wants to do is run his strip club, drink a little blood, and be left alone. Instead, he must survive car crashes, enchanted bullets, sunlight, sex magic, and werewolves on ice--not to mention his own nasty temper and forgetfulness.Because being undead isn't easy, but it sure beats the alternative....

Title : Staked
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9781416547808
Format Type : Paperback
Number of Pages : 370 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

Staked Reviews

  • Kat Kennedy
    2019-01-27 10:57

    I'm going to list for you three incredibly stupid things done on behalf of humanity. Now, I'm not saying these are the stupidest things ever done in the history of man, but I'm saying they probably cut it pretty close.1. The Mary Rose was commissioned and built by the English Navy in 1511. If wikianswers is anything to go by then the roughly *Kat looks for the pound symbol* where's the fucking pound symbol? Okay, never mind about the pound symbol, just use your imagination. The 400 pounds plus the later 316 pounds put toward the Mary Rose would today equal 214,800 pounds... kind of. That's just for materials though - not labour or the amount of money it would cost for the labour to then build the damn boat.It was the first real warship of its time and held around 91 canons all aimed at blowing your mind with the awesomeness of this boat.So it was launched into its first battle, the battle of Solent, where it was up against the French Navy. It fired its big ass guns and then turned around to fire again.Except, you know, when you have a bunch of holes in your ship that are really close to the water then you pretty much don't have a ship anymore which is exactly what happened when a stray breeze tilted the Mary Rose and managed to sink her so quickly that the French supposedly didn't even have time to fire a single shot at her. "Listen, you French Frogs! We'll give you until the water reaches our nostrils to surrender before we destroy you with our Brittishness!"2. Robert O'Hara BourkeFunny thing about any Australian explorers that Australian's actually like - they all sucked. Hard.Robert O'Hara Bourke is famous for sucking particularly badly when he set out to be the first man to traverse Australia.Now most people hear Australian Outback and think of lots of sand and kangaroos maybe? It helps more to think of the Australian outback as an intelligent, malevolent force who definitely wants you dead but isn't at all interested in making quick, painless or easy. The Australian Outback is kind of a bitch that way. Where Bourke wanted to go, he would travel into places so hot that thermometers regularly broke and required at least some skill to find anything at all to eat or drink. Unfortunately Bourke had absolutely no skill or experience living off the land, shunned the aid of anyone the least bit helpful (except for Willis) and set out on his incredibly well-stocked expedition, ditching vital supplies along the way because, hey, they just weren't going fast enough for impatient Bourke.They hit rough spots and eventually Bourke and three others separated from the main party, telling Brahe to stay in Copeland until absolutely necessary to leave. They made a dash for the Gulf of Carpentaria. They reached there but the journey proved too much on their return to Copeland where Brahe was supposed to be waiting for them. They did arrive, in terrible condition, but found a note from Brahe telling them that he had waited for 4 months and eventually had to leave. In fact, he'd left JUST that morning only a few hours earlier. Bourke and what remained of his companions decided to head to a cattle station 240 kms away because they were too weak to catch up to Brahe.Meanwhile Brahe felt bad for leaving and returned to Copeland. Finding it still deserted and seeing nothing changed, he decided to go rustle up a rescue party but didn't leave any supplies or pack animals behind in Copeland.THEN, if you can actually believe this, Bourke and the surviving co. decided THEY couldn't reach the cattle station and ALSO returned to Copeland...AGAIN, once again barely missing Brahe.Then they died. The end. But it's okay because they're totally super famous in Australia now.Everything in this picture wants your blood. Even the sand. 3. Gary Hoy wanted to prove that highrise glass is unbreakable. A lawyer from Toronto, he has apparently become something of a joke. If only I could reach such heights of fame by claiming that something is impossible to do and then dying from it. Sounds criminally easy.He decided to prove his point that the windows on the 24th floor were unbreakable and he decided that the best way to prove this point was to toss his fragile, breakable and ONLY body (let's remember that it's not like he kept a spare in the closet) at the glass. The first time it didn't break and, feeling triumphant, he had another go.It would be bad enough if he'd just done this on his own as a private dare - but perhaps, gathering the office interns around to witness the results of his personal vendetta against good sense, wasn't the best idea. I leave the rest to your bountiful imagination.[image error]"Listen, intern, even if the glass DOES break, it's not like anything really bad could happen..."So why tell these stories? Well, I just wanted to provide an opportunity, before I got down to my review, to prove that stupidity is simply a natural part of human nature.Believe me when I say that J.F. Lewis knows about stupid. He managed to write a whole group of characters with a seeming inability to locate and provide enough brain cells to rub two together.Now, granted, the main character, Eric, is supposed to be a little off his rocker. He was embalmed before he rose as a vampire and so he doesn't quite have all his marbles. But there's really no excuse for the rest of them.In fact, this book is so much smarter than all the characters combined that it managed not only to inform me of who the bad guy was by about page 25 but it was also kind enough to inform me of the bad guy and basic plot for the next book.How kind.At one point a character who is in love with Eric finds out who the bad guys are and is all but told that they plan to kill him and that he's in danger. Instead of, I don't know, rushing off to warn him or recognize the significance of what she's discovered, she instead gives them a message to give to him and storms off in an attempt to make him jealous and honestly believes he'll chase her down to admit his love.I'm dumbfounded. "Oh, while you're trying to kill the man I love, do you mind just passing along a message for him to come and find me when he's done barely escaping you with his life?"Yeah, honey, I'm sure the person who hates him the most is reallly going to take time out of his busy schedule of mayhem and nefarious schemes to help along yours and his enemy's love life.Other than that small fact, this book wasn't too bad at all. I liked the whole conflicted, swiss-cheese-for-memory Eric. He was usually a fun and complicated character to read. Talbot was also, at times, amusing and this story definitely had its moments. The writing wasn't too bad and there were a few sexy times in there to ensure that I didn't get too bored. The writing was decent enough and the plot and pacing moved quite well.The problem with the book was that it just gave away too much and obviously didn't want the reader doing too much thinking.Now, obviously, the biggest problem with this book is actually me. After all, doesn't the cover and description make it abundantly obvious that this book is bound to be nothing more than a mindless h00rfest? Isn't that kind of in the spirit of the book? I just find myself a little baffled because there really wasn't that much sexiness in there and it honestly seemed to focus more on the action (let's face it, Eric as Ubervamp was actually funny as hell) and the characters and plot. In fact, he barely spent anytime practising the horizontal mamba. The cover has a chick on a stripper's pole for goodness sake! What is the world coming to when a horny, suggestible male vamp only does one single chick and her younger, more cunning sister a couple of times? It's downright despicable is what it is.*I'd like to remind all you bitches that J.F Lewis is a boy with many boy parts!

  • Buggy
    2019-01-27 03:49

    “In the end a friendship between vampire and a human is like a friendship between a dog and a chicken nugget. Sooner or later, the nugget is going to get eaten; the only real question is how many bites it will take.”I don’t read much urban fantasy, Oh I try, because friends keep recommending “awesome” books to me but in all honesty I rarely get through them, getting confused by creatures and worlds that change on a whim and generally lack in the romance department. Anyways STAKED was another one of ‘those’ recommendations however this one turned out to be different, piquing my interest from page 1 with its dark laugh-out-loud humour, bumbling anti hero and no holds bared sex, blood and gore. Yup this was a fun ride.Told in alternating POV’s between the likable but remorseless vampire Eric and his human (waiting to be turned) girlfriend Tabitha, Staked gives us a new take on the mainstream vampire story. And while I much preferred being in Eric’s confused head Tabitha’s journey is at the very least eye opening. With a fast paced storyline set in the unique and very cool world of Void City, this is one Urb fantasy book that I will now be recommending to others.Eric just wants to be left alone to run his strip club, drain the occasional waitress and drive his 64 Mustang but being undead isn’t easy and ‘life’ just keeps getting in his way. Compounding things is the fact that Eric was embalmed shortly after his ‘death’ and his short term memory now resembles Swiss cheese. He can’t remember who he had for lunch yesterday much less why he’s standing in a back alley with a Master Vampires head in his hands. Then theres the whole enchanted bullets and sunlight issues (he keeps catching on fire) the missing money and assorted business problems he’s having with the co-owner of Demon Heart, a girlfriend just begging to be turned -with a really cute younger sister and his would be wife Marilyn, who although getting up there in years still refuses to join him in undeath but won’t leave his side either. Throw in the fact that a pack of werewolves is seeking revenge for Eric killing one of their own (come on it was self defence) his girlfriend Tabitha is about to learn the unromantic version of what it means to be undead and oh, his kids are coming to visit. So you guessed it, I recommended this bloody great ride, even to those who don’t like the urban fantasy genre. JF Lewis has created an excellent world here and I’m looking forward to more adventures with book #2 ReVamped

  • Vincent Diamond
    2019-01-20 09:56

    Staked by J.F. LewisThinking this might be a fun little vamp romp, I took a chance on this. Paranormal tales are all the rage these days, of course, and my exposure to them is limited to the tedium of one of the later Anita Blake vampire hunter series (I can't remember the name but it's the one where the psychological/mental/ possibly physical threesome was drawn out for like, 60 goddamm pages. Yes, a three-way rendered utterly boring by inert prose and way too much navel-gazing), and what stories come over my desk for editing and proofing. At least those have somewhat sympathetic vampire characters.One cannot say the same for Eric from Staked. Initially, the first-person, chatty voice was kind of charming. This isn't a stuffy, ascot-wearing, smoking jacket kind of vampire. Eric runs a strip club and starts off the action by killing another vampire. With lots of references to bowels and bodily fluids, this should have given me a clue that the narrator has the interests of the average thirteen year old. Boobs, bowel movements, and gore.But, okay, I get past that. When Eric returns to his strips club (first clue), he has a fairly angy encouter with Tabitha, his human girlfriend. Of course, she waxes. (second clue).And then. And then I run into this charming bit of prose:"Tabitha was the only kind of girlfriend I let myself have anymore. She had a great body, a bad attitude, and extremely low self-esteem. She wasn't dumb, but she wasn't smart, and she thought she wanted to be a vampire when she grew up…. In short, if I broke her by accident I wouldn't feel too bad about it and no one would really miss her. Cruel, I know, but I am a vampire, remember?"Third clue. This is a misogynistic, psychopathic, frightened character who doesn't want a grown-up, real woman but a childish, dumb, busty female who won't challenge him in any way. And about whom I wish to read nothing more. This is a character I'm supposed to care about and be in his head for the next 370 or so pages? Um, no, I don't think so.So, J.F. Lewis, you lost me. And you lost me fast, on page 15. At least it was a quick screwing because the $14 paid for this could have gone to something with a tad more value like half a tank of gas or a meal for two at McDonald's.

  • Daelith
    2019-02-02 10:43

    First, I must start out by saying that most women, myself included, are going to think Eric is a complete pig. Be interesting to have himself turn into one then have Tabitha shot him with those special bullets so he’s stuck in that form for awhile. But then, he’d be a roast piggy so that wouldn’t work. Darn! Regardless of his “women problems” I still managed to like Eric. Then again, I’m a sucker for flawed heroes. You weren’t kidding when you say Eric has issues. *L*Tabitha, I felt, needed a good swat up the side of her head in several instances, but again I still liked her. It was fun watching her fumble and experiment with her new found powers.The funny thing as I was reading and thinking in what ways I like and dislike these characters, I had to give a mental chuckle at Lewis catching me off guard like this. I’ve always said I really like a writer who can elicit an emotion from me whether it be laughter, tears or anger. They’ve done their job, and very well, when they’ve achieved that. (Still only one has managed to tick me off enough to throw the book across the room though.) Here Lewis had me going back and forth with both of these characters as to how I felt about them. One chapter, I’m ready to stake Eric myself then the next I’m rooting for him to kick some werewolf ass. Kudos Jeremy!Extra kudos for several laugh out loud moments. The little addition of the Three Stooges move in a fight and Eric’s learning of his bat wings had me rolling. And in bringing these two scenes up in topic, let me just add...Greta Rocks!! Seriously, as warped as it may be, I adored Greta. So help me if you kill her off in future books, I may have to go find the little old voodoo priestess who runs around downtown Memphis mumbling and shaking her fistful of feathers at everyone and have her come up with an extra special curse for you.Also, I’m thoroughly intrigued by Talbot and looking forward to learning more about him in future books. Rachel had me pondering as to just what she was up too quite a bit. I have a feeling she’ll prove to be more of an upcoming quandary. The Japanese ogres were a great touch too. I had this mental image of some Sumo looking creatures squatting in the street stuffing their faces. And the holy roller lycans! I’m still snickering over them.Now as for the ending. Holy cliffhangers, Batman!! I turn the page expecting there to be more and there’s “Hope you liked the book” and I’m thinking -- What the heck?! There’s got to be more. Frantically flipping through the last few filler pages, I realize that was it. Porky Pig might has well have popped out of the back cover and said “Th-th-the-th-the-th-that's all, folks!” I quickly looked up the release date of the next book. March 2009. Sheesh, I’ve got nine months to wait. I can just hear the “Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!” Curly impression Lewis is doing now from his office.All kidding aside though, this was a great read. If I hadn’t had things that had to be done this past weekend, I probably would have read this in one sitting. Lewis has all the ingredients I love in a book...action, paranormal, mystery and humor with a different twist.Thank you for the opportunity to read your book, Jeremy. I thoroughly enjoyed it and I’m looking forward to the next installment.

  • Anita
    2019-01-30 06:35

    I read about 1/4 of this vampire/werewolf urban fantasy and then gave up on it. The main character is thoroughly unlikeable, and none of the other characters were very compelling, either. I don't understand the appeal of reading about a horrible guy who doesn't seem to have any chance at all of becoming anything interesting. The book celebrates loserdom. I've come across a couple other books with that slant, and I didn't like them either. Maybe it's a sub-sub-sub-genre.

  • Ladiibbug
    2019-02-16 11:40

    #1 Void City series - Urban FantasyOriginally Read: 10/1/2009Second Read: 2/6/15Hilarious, very entertaining, lots of action & sometimes violent UF -- this is *not* a pnr romance with a vampire hunk as the leading man. There are relationships, but romance is not the main storyline.A varied group of characters are lively, very, very funny (or weird, or bizarre) and the many sub-plots are so much fun! Eric and his friend Roger, both vampires, co-own Demon Heart, a strip club. Eric's girlfriend is hounding him to turn her into a vampire. He has issues with other women too. In a rage episode he doesn't recall, Eric kills a werewolf, and now he has a dangerous pack after him seeking retribution.Eric may be a vampire, but he has weird problems. Like short and long term memory problems. He often forgets about sunrise with ROFL results. He's got a bad temper - he goes into rages and blacks out, and people usually die. If only he could remember ...It's books like Staked that compel me to drive myself crazy trying to read as many first books in a series as I possibly can in order to be absolutely sure I don't miss a diamond like Staked among the other pretty rocks and gems. Staked will be among my favorite reads of 2009 in any genre, and is now tied for #1 favorite UF read of 2009 (tied with A Rush of Wings - Adrian Phoenix). #2 ReVamped is on my next Amazon order!

  • Shannon C.
    2019-02-03 05:56

    This is the first book I've read by this author. I usually love urban fantasy books, but this one not so much.What I liked:1. It's an urban fantasy with a good amount of suspense and action2. The vampires aren't watered down--they are scary killersWhat I didn't like:1. The characters--and when I say that I mean ALL of the characters. They just were not appealing. I wasn't interested in reading about any of them and really had to force myself to finish the book. The lead guy was a complete pr*ck and he made decisions that had me shaking my head thinking WTF? He cheats on his girlfriend with a teen girl he thinks is his girlfriend's sister. Most of the female characters are generally positioned as brainless bimbos. 2. The lead guy is a 'mary sue' character (or whatever you call the male equivalent). He starts out being the most powerful type of vampire (a 'vlad') but then you find that he has even more 'special' powers. 3. Because it's told in first person POV the fact that the characters are really annoying, make it even tougher to read. I really didn't want to be in their heads.4. The mystery wasn't too tough to figure out. I suspected the culprits pretty early on in the story. And, sure enough, they turned out to be the betrayers. 5. The ending, which leaves you hangingI won't be reading another book by this author.

  • marlene
    2019-01-27 09:34

    this book reminded me of the queen betsy series. well, if betsy was a man with a heck of a libido and a case of serious memory lapse. i think i fell in love with eric by page three when i was laughing so hard i choked on my drink. this book had some truly hilarious moments in it. ok more than moments, most of the book had me in stitches. not too fond of the female lead tabby. i was kind of hoping she would get blown up along the way. if i had to read her panting like a puppy how "he loves me! he has to love me! he does too love me! uh huh" i was going to vote they send her to bora bora to get a tan. greta however made up for it. they were really all such well done characters that i will even over look the holy cow cliffhanger.

  • vicki_girl
    2019-01-27 06:40

    The best way I can think to describe this book is that "it does exactly what it says on the tin". In 'Staked' the main character is an unrepentant, amoral vampire who just wants to be left alone to run his strip club. Instead, he's having a really bad week, with a nagging girlfriend, her jail-bait younger sister, and angry werewolves out for his skin. For me it was actually refreshing to read about a vampire who was a blood-sucking monster, instead of a poor tortured soul, who struggles to live with the monster that he is.... While Eric's personality may not be endearing, watching what happens to him and his sarcastic reaction to it all is very entertaining.

  • Jenna Rock
    2019-01-22 03:47

    Despite the horribly cheesy cover, this book was a great read. An amusing, not taking itself too seriously, fantasy book about a vampire that runs a strip club and experiences rage black outs. If you like the Dresden Files series by Jim Butcher, then this book would be right up your alley.

  • Christal
    2019-01-21 03:32

    I really enjoyed this book. The vampires are not toned down at all. They are vicious killers, most of the time. The lead character, Eric, actually reminds me of Dante from A Rush of Wings, albeit in a more humorous, self-effacing way. He has this whole secret background mystery going on that we just barely scratch the surface of in this book. I really enjoyed his scenes with his daughter, Greta, and hope we find out more about her in the next books. I even enjoyed Tabitha until her last chapter (view spoiler)[ where the whole double-cross/murder attempt was basically told to her but instead of going to let Eric know, she ran away and hoped he would follow her out of luuuuuuv. Well honey, he can't come find you if he's dead (hide spoiler)]. Other than that, I couldn't put this book down and I am really glad the other novels are already published because that ending was a doozy!

  • Ranata
    2019-01-28 06:53

    Meet Eric, a vampire that blacks out and when he awakens, somebody's dead. He has a human girlfriend that wants him to turn her into a vampire so they can be together for all eternity and like an idiot, he goes and does it even though it never seemed to work out before. Now he's checking out her little sister..In between women problems, he has werewolves out for his blood. What's a short term memory losing vamp to do?I thought this story was brilliant. I loved the plot and I thought it flowed together quite well. You got a different perspective on Vampires and Eric is as flawed as any human being. He was likeable even though he was still supposedly an evil vamp.I recommend it to all those that like a little comedy with their undead. Great story and I'll be waiting for the sequel.

  • Vanessa theJeepDiva
    2019-02-14 08:54

    I am so proud of myself! I managed to actually finish this crap... I mean book. Where to begin with the awfulness that is this book. Eric reminded me of that guy from the movie Memento. He cannot remember anything & his friends & loved ones lie to him & create a new reality for him. Tabitha, the gorgeous girlfriend has NO self-esteem (low would have been an improvement for her.) The authors writing style was just flat & dry to me. This was a read for a book club that I am in. One of the members described Eric as "I want to be his BFF & wingman." I now want to introduce her to new people. Eric is horrible, he treats people horrible, and he has the personality of an insensitive jerk. I am very happy that I was able to find this book used, I wasted less than $5.

  • Cindi (cheesygiraffe)
    2019-01-31 03:56

    Best vampire book I read in a long time. Eric is a no bull crap kind of vampire. He isn't a pretty boy but he isn't a monster either even though he turns into one. It's still amazing after over 40 years as a vamp he doesn't know who his sire is and who his friends really are. By the end of the book he sorta finds out about one of these.

  • Kara
    2019-01-23 05:52

    This was fantastic first novel. Quite humourous actually. Eric with the convenient amnesia and temper to boot, really gave the story a bold entrance to the vampire scene. I await the publication of the sequel.

  • Fangs for the Fantasy
    2019-01-24 07:47

    Eric isn’t the most competent vampire around. Because he was embalmed, he has issues with his memory and forgets little things – like when the sun is coming up. He also has his temper black-outs which has led to the odd unfortunate massacre that’s always awkward. He also has pretty bad impulse control issuesHence him turning new girlfriend Tabitha into a vampire. Something he’s done before and it never ever ever works out.And he’s annoyed the werewolves. He’s not even entirely sure why, but his constant attempts to mollify them keep going rather awry and escalating the problem and he can’t even be sure if someone is acting against him or if he’s just completing his streak of colossal screw upsI really like the world setting here – it’s one of the best depictions of grittiness I’ve seen, because it doesn’t come with the over-the-top grimdark that is usually so common. It’s gritty, yet light hearted, there’s a strong sense of darkness but characters who are still just a bit silly.I like the world building, l we’re taking some of the very common elements of Urban fantasy – werewolves and vampires but there’s such an original twist on these so very well established themes. The degrees of the vampire power, they way they run the city, the different routes to becoming a vampire and also the very biology of vampires. A lot of books talk about vampires being dead and even bloody tears, but this takes it to the obvious conclusion – and it’s really not all that sexy (unless you have a thing for cold bodies with blood for every bodily fluid). I have to say I love this true analysis. Even more we have some actual attention paid to age gaps, I loved Marilyn outright telling someone that they’re treating Eric like a lovesick teenager when he’s an 80-odd year old man.But it’s not just the vampires – the whole holy werewolves is definitely an original twist which I didn’t expect. I’ve read a lot of this genre and seeing these old staples spun in entirely new ways is excellent to see.Then plot was also nicely twisty – Eric finds himself in a war with the werewolves and we’re not entirely sure why. I mean, there’s a very good chance it could be from his own incompetence (Eric being Eric) but we find more and more levels beyond that, and lots of little hints that turn into more as the story develops. It had a few tangents, but in general the book kept me hooked throughoutIn terms of plot and world building, this book is a winner. Almost. I still think the main antagonist hasn’t quite thought out his plot or how he’s going to get away with all this without consequences, but compared to everyone else in this book he’s a positive mastermindI’m not as much of a fan of Eric, the main character, especially early in the book despite generally liking his tone (as a Vlad, an upper-echelon vampire, he’s pretty unkillable and can be pretty blasé as a result). In fact, I dislike him sufficiently to derail a lot of my enjoyment. Eric is a screw up, he knows this, he almost openly embraces it and he frequently castigates himself for screwing things up. And some of the screw ups I wouldn’t mind because they’re natural parts of his odd vampiric biology – he has constant memory lapses and rage-based black outs (which are very very bad because Eric is a very very powerful vampire indeed. It’s quite hard to be as mellow and generally inoffensive as Eric when you keep waking from black outs surrounded by torn up corpses). I could get by with a character with these traits as his frustration with them and attempts to work around them can be endearing elements. But that is compounded by some truly appalling decision making. He turns Tabitha into a vampire for the utterly worst of reasons and then makes no real effort to help her transition. She has sex with another character and it’s such an utterly bad idea that I was literally fighting not to yell at the book. He ignores his problems, he very much has to be forced to act and there are far too many times when he just seems to ignored the various things boiling around him.I’m also not quite sure of the character. I would say he’s a special male kind of Gary Stu – he not only has the classic super-special-powers-of-specialness that any Mary Sue has, but he also has that classic bro-incompetence shit going on you see in a lot of buddy movies; yet despite his epic incompetence, he’s just has so much awesome woo-woo that he gets out of it. It's kind of like the inept stoner dude from every buddy-movie became superman.What I will say is to hang in there because the book does manage to scrape up something. In the beginning of this book the flaws with Eric annoyed me a lot and were a real barrier to me actually enjoying this book. But as the book develops we see more of the meat and motivation behind his random and ill-advised acts and we get some justification to some of his more unpleasant, ridiculous and generally frustrating behaviour. It doesn't make it more readable but an attempt to explain the awful was made/ It also helps that Tabitha becomes a much more realised character with her own agency and power. Tabitha’s experiences and viewpoint also reveals some of the pressures a vampire has from their own instincts. Of course, it doesn't help that Tabitha is a pretty terrible character who is eclipsed only by Eric in his awfulness (really, Eric helps all of the characters in this book by being so objectionable that they see decent in comparison).Read More

  • Meigan
    2019-02-01 11:49

    Eric the vampire has no qualms about who and what he is. One of his strong suits is using and abusing those around him. Like it or lump it, that's who he is. Plain and simply, Eric is an asshole. What makes him a good asshole is he doesn't apologize for who he is, yet he still has friends. Perhaps his friends are also assholes, or they unknowingly recognize that deep down, maybe he isn't as bad as he seems. Eric also has memory issues, courtesy of being embalmed. He didn't want to become a vampire, it just happened. After he died and was embalmed, of course. He lived a good life prior to his un-life -- the woman of his dreams that he was set to marry, an awesome best friend, an even more awesome '64 Mustang that he bought new. Surprisingly, he managed to hold on to all those things when he crossed over from human to vamp, yet the relationships (except for the car) underwent some changes. Marilyn, his love, never stopped loving him, but for some reason refused to continue where they left off. Now a geriatric, she's one of the few people who Eric can trust and even with her becoming an old woman, Eric still sees her as his wife. Roger, his best friend in life, has also become his best friend in death. Roger was also changed and now they are partners in owning a strip club. Eric unknowingly kills a very important member of the werewolf community -- the Alpha's son. Of course, he doesn't remember thanks to those pesky memory problems, the only thing he knows is now he's got a pack of holy-roller weres out to kill him. The wolves aren't your typical weres, they are also born-again religious fanatics. Not only does Eric now have wolves gunning for his un-life, but they're spewing religious babble with every confrontation. If the wolves don't manage to kill him outright, their preaching certainly will. J.F. Lewis has really created quite a good tale with this first entry into the Void City series. Not only was his vampire structure super interesting and different, but so were his wolves. And the icing on the cake was the little bits of humor peppered throughout. Eric himself was a perfect main character and despite him being billed as "unrepentant", that certainly didn't ring true for the entirety of the novel. The Eric we meet isn't the one we are left with and while I did enjoy his unapologetic and asshole-ish ways, I also like the Eric that he transforms into by book's end. Another character that was the highlight was Tabitha, who really was a perfect complement to Eric. While he is rude, crude, and socially unacceptable, she comes off as incredibly stupid for falling for him and hoping he'll change. But as with Eric, the Tabitha we meet isn't the one we're left with, either. She eventually grows some backbone. She's got an inner strength that doesn't initially shine through, but it becomes apparent that Tab isn't the doormat she's thought as. Bottom line -- this is a series that doesn't take itself too seriously. It's fun, it's quirky, and the characters are ones you'll either love or hate. I loved them and one in particular, Talbot, is definitely one I'm eager to learn more about.

  • Liviania
    2019-02-15 05:55

    Eric has rage issues. And memory issues, to be truthful. He tends to get angry and then come back to himself amid a pile of dead bodies. One of his latest dead bodies happens to be the son of William, who leads the local werewolves. Eric wastes no time worrying since he's pretty hard to kill. In Lewis's vampirism system, Eric's at the top. (Your abilities are determined both by your sire and by your inner strength.)Of course the werewolves are getting pretty pesky, especially since they think they can threaten his daughter Greta. He also needs to make some sense of his personal life. He just turned Tabitha, his girlfriend, but now he's dating her younger sister Rachel. He knows he shouldn't, but something about her is irresistable. His longtime friend and business partner, Roger, is acting suspiciously. Eric would rather not deal with any of this.STAKED combines action, well-drawn characters, and little bit of raunchiness to good effect. Tabith and Eric's relationship really gets me. She wants much more than he wants to give and she's willfully naive about the outcome of her desires. I could really despise Eric for the way he treats her, but he makes no excuses about it. He tells her the truth and surrounds her with people who can tell her the truths Eric refuses to face as well. I liked the both of them, although I worry about their specialness. (Yes, both of them have special vampire abilities.) In most urban fantasies, the gaining of special powers by the lead is a sign of the beginning of the declined. STAKED is promising and I do not want to see that happen.I liked the side characters as well. Rachel and Greta, the two young girls, would typically be the innocents of the story. But Rachel is something of a criminal mastermind, and Greta has quite the appetite. As they say, fear the cute ones. Marilyn is the woman who loved Eric when he was alive and still stays by her side. She offers insight into his past and provides a strong human presence. Talbot, the bouncer, adds a few more mysteries to the plot. Some of his abilities are explained, but STAKED ends with little known about him or why he hangs with Eric.Speaking of the ending . . . STAKED is a cliffhanger. I was lucky enough to receive a signed copy with this little note in the back: Don't worry! The sequel is coming soon.J. F. Lewis, like Eric, obviously realizes his own evil. I would say something about how he doesn't have the protection of immortality, but if he died we wouldn't get the sequel. Although STAKED ends with a bang and mysteries yet to be solved, it is a fairly self-contained sequence. The main plot begins and ends satisfyingly.

  • Yvensong
    2019-01-21 03:42

    I've been trying to figure out how to write my review of this book. I could write about how much I enjoyed the story, how I laughed at parts, and how I couldn't put it down the night I finished the book -- meaning I stayed up waaay past my bedtime so I could finish. Oh, and I immediately ran out to find the next book in the series. Yet, those aspects aren't really what stood out to me.What stood out for me was the writing style and how the characters were written up. Female authors, who I've predominately read in the paranormal world, write about big, hunky men who the primary female character just can't get out of her head. We get detailed descriptions of just about every inch of *his* body. This book was, very obviously, written from a male perspective. Sure, he was big, and hunky according to the main female. But, instead of big, rippling, sexy muscles, he was strong. He was powerful. All adjectives that men (of our culture) value. The main female, on the other hand, was a bit annoying to me. She was painted as a clingy, immature, pouty, I'm-gonna-*make*-him-love-me type, using methods that most girls use in their teens. I hope that this particular writer doesn't see women, in general, this way. I hope he wrote her this way to: a) move the story along and b) to provide some comic relief.I like the take on the world-building. The vampires may seem human-like, but are true monsters. The hierarchy makes sense. The tension and the cooperation between the vampires and other paranormals adds another interesting level to the world. Eric's selective amnesia is an interesting twist to, what could easily be, a standard, run-of-the-mill, vampire story. It causes a strange weakness in his ability to be the big, tough guy. My favorite characters in this story were Greta and Talbot. Greta is just plain cool, while Talbot is a mystery waiting to be unwrapped.

  • Cathy
    2019-01-31 06:27

    I loved this book! I was intrigued from the get-go and it never let up. I didn't want to put it down, each chapter held my interest. Eric, the lead character, is not the typical hero. He has good impulses and violent ones. His memory sucks, he has a terrible temper, and he's the target of some sort of evil plan that he just can't figure out or seem to remember the details about. Early on in the book he turns his girlfriend, Tabitha, into a vampire (not a spoiler, this is on the back cover), and we also get to see how this spoiled and obsessed gal deals with this change. Personally, I'd have liked Tabitha to be a little less completely selfish and self-centered, but it's an interesting character. We also meet Rachel, who mysteriously appears in Eric's life and quickly takes a center role. I like that our questions about Rachel aren't really ever answered. The same holds for Eric's friend, Talbot, an equally mysterious and very intriguing person. But the unanswered questions don't feel like the typical teasers to read the next novel, more as just the way not everything we want to know in real life is every fully explained. Not that they don't serve as good teasers, too, but they aren't there for that purpose.Eric's life is messy and complicated. For all that he's a really messed up vampire, something about him feels very real. Maybe because the author is actually a guy, but Eric does feel like a real guy. His voice is very clear, his perspective is unexpected sometimes but always makes sense for the character, and he's remarkably likable for someone who screws up so much. In some ways, this is a typical urban fantasy. Grouchy vampire, sexy girl (usually the other way around, grouchy girl and sexy guy, but this was written by a man after all), death threats and fights, betrayal, etc. But it also feels different and unique. I guess that's just in the writing and characterization. Some authors have "it", and this one just does.

  • Steph
    2019-01-25 06:48

    Staked was such a fun read. It's an UF full of religious werewolves, killer vampires and strippin' wannabes. Eric and Roger co-own a strip club called Demon Heart. Eric has a weakness for dating human women, who always want to be turned so they can be with him for eternity. He usually ends up turning them, but then dumps or kills them because they become such a nuisance, no longer offering the heat and heart beat of their former human selves that drew him to them in the first place.Tabitha, Eric's current girlfriend, is no different. Always trying to convince him to turn her, when one night he finally gives in. She's in love with Eric and although he's never said he loved her, she's convinced he does. She does all she can to try to keep Eric from getting rid of her, like all his past girlfriends. She struggles to learn more about her new vamp-self while coming to grips with the loss of the sun, the possibility of motherhood, her reflection, etc.Eric is one of the strongest vampires known (a Vlad level vampire), but he suffers from short and long term memory loss (like forgetting when the sun is going to rise and catching fire) to major rage blackouts (like killing weres, vamps, humans and not remembering why). In one of his episodes, he finds out that he killed a werewolf and the pack is out to get their retribution.The side stories are a hoot and Eric's sense of humor had me laughing out loud. The add'l characters: Gwen, Eric's daughter; Margaret, Eric's fiance before becoming a vampire, who has stayed with him and is now an elderly woman; and Talbot, a were-something (?), Eric's friend, especially, are great. I hope to learn more about Talbot in the next book.I will definitely be reading ReVamped soon!

  • Ithlilian
    2019-01-31 09:32

    I was skeptical when I first started reading this book. I thought I was in for a let down, but I was pleasantly surprised. My first impression of all of the characters was that they were rude, sarcastic, and annoying. Eric has no backbone. Turns his girlfriend that he doesn't love into a vampire when he knows he will want no more to do with her. She thinks being a vampire will bring them closer together, which is not the case at all. Shortly after that things pick up. Eric, our main character, is being framed for werewolf killings. His girlfriend and his friend go out to find the magical gun that killed the werewolves. There is treachery, betrayal, sex, attitude, and even some funny moments. As sarcastic and caustic as Eric is his memory lapses and care for his friends redeems him a bit. His girlfriend is a bit nicer, and is more interesting as a vampire than she was as a human. I enjoyed this book, and even laughed a few times. The ending does come out of nowhere and twists and turns happen one after another for the last 20 pages that will make you crave more. If the second book actually explains some things and doesn't drag the plot out then explain everything in the last few pages then I will be happy. Interesting new series with a major attitude.

  • K. Bird Lincoln
    2019-02-13 05:28

    How do you describe a book that makes you cringe with the coarseness of the language and constant sexxoring of the main character, but that makes you keep reading just to find out what happens anyway? Oh yeah, that would be Staked.Eric is a really, really powerful vampire who runs a strip club and keeps getting pretty much totally wasted by various factions of werewolves.He just made his human girlfriend into a vampire, and her supposedly-dead little sister is out to seduce him. And he's being framed for the death of the local alpha werewolf's son (thus the constant wasting by aforementioned werewolves.)If you like the gritty, male-centric urban fantasy of Jim Butcher or nightside by Simon Green, then you'll probably enjoy Eric and friends.It was a pleasure to read this book just because of the different take on Urban Fantasy vampires. However, his girlfriend, Tabitha, while fascinating as a vehicle for "discovering" vampire qualities, got annoying with her "but he loves me" line. Still, I kept reading to the end, and some of the other ex-girlfriends and daughter cracked me up.This Book's Food Designation Rating: Doritos and Mountain Dew for the utter maleness of Eric's POV and yet how strangely compelling the story was.

  • Kati
    2019-01-22 06:53

    I loved this new take on vampires, it's quite intriguing and I'm now really curious about what Eric truly is. I loved Eric, how screwed up he was, his attitude. That was A-awesome. And if the book had been just about him, I would have given it 5 stars. Unfortunately, there was also Tabitha. Remember Jane, the love interest of Simon Canderous in Anton Strout's UF books? Yes, Tabitha could be Jane's slightly less dumb sister. I mean it - Tabitha is shallow, stupid, selfish and similar derogatory adjectives and she's literally dragging the intelligence level of the whole book down. I don't know what it is with male authors and their inability to write engaging female heroines. Fortunately, the book ended with a massive cliffhanger and I am curious enough to get the next one in the series. But only for Eric's sake. That's why I'm also willing to bumb up the rating from 3.5 stars to 4!

  • Darcy
    2019-01-25 07:51

    I wasn't sure about this book when I picked it up, but by about 30 pages in I liked the tone and it sucked me in. It is a different take on the whole vampire thing. I liked the different levels that the vampires are. I did have it figured out about a quarter of the way through who the bad guys were, but didn't mind that as I enjoyed going along for the ride with Eric as he discovered it. It surprised me how much I liked Eric even though he tries really hard to be a bastard. Some of my favorite things were Greta and how crazy she is, and Marilyn and how she kept Eric somewhat in reality. I look forward to reading the next book to see where things go.

  • Diane ~Firefly~
    2019-02-01 05:37

    A bit of a starker take on vampires. Void City is vampire run and will clean up your mess for a price. Eric is a powerful Vlad vampire with memory problems who is about to have girl and werewolf problems.What I enjoyed:* It was a change of pace to see the monsters portrayed as monsters for the most part.* Eric's daughter is scary...* Talbot is cool.What could have been better:* Eric's not wanting to take responsibility or deal with any issues was annoying.* I'd to know more about Rachel.* Huge cliffhanger ending. I wanted more wrap-up.

  • Heather
    2019-02-02 08:32

    4.5 starsIt was a little difficult to get into at first but with the way the author unfolds the story I got hooked fast. The anti-hero Eric makes no excuses for his behavior..cuz hey he is a monster. In his own words he is a vampire and eats people. Best goodwill find in awhile for me. Loved it so much I had to track down the other 3 books of this void city series.

  • Linda
    2019-02-19 04:47

    Highly recommended! If you enjoy the Buffyverse, you'll enjoy the world of Eric in STAKED. This is a great first novel, and I look forward to the second one (out in March '09, I believe).

  • Ming
    2019-02-13 06:54

    violent and funny

  • Marc
    2019-02-07 06:44

    On devrait inventer un nouveau dicton du genre "première lecture tellement bidon que le reste de l'année sera très bon" :D